Family

Trey said something today that made me smile all day. He was telling me that he loved me & that I was his family. And that Daddy, Grannie, & Papa was his family. I asked him what did family mean to him (I didn't think he would give me a real answer or understand the question). He looked up at me with a big smile & said "Happy". That made me feel so good. Then I asked him what else it meant to him & he said "Loving". It is great to know that he feels this way!

He is so sweet at times then the next minute he is so rough. Slapping, hitting, throwing things, yelling...all boy!

Next week we go to Grannie & Papa's for Grannie's birthday. I told him we were going & he asked if I would stay with him(sometimes Grannie keeps him & I stay at home). I told him I would be staying. He said "good, I will miss you if you're not there". That made me feel really good too!

But the funniest thing he has said lately was last week when we were at the park. I told him he was growing so much & was on his way to 4 years old. He looked up at me with a serious face & said "when I'm 4, will I will still live at your house, or will I be all grown-up?" Hilarious!! I assured him that he would live at our house for a long time!

Dates to remember...

Trey is potty trained fully now!! He had a breakthrough on March 28. He is using regular sized toilets most of the time now too.

We went on a Disney Cruise May 9-13. It took us to Nassau, Bahamas where we saw old forts & learned about Junkanoo. Trey loved Junkanoo-a Bahamas tradition of celebration around Christmas/New Year's that involves lots of noise-making with cow bells, whistles, drums, & yelling plus dressing in huge hand-made festive costumes. He got to blow a whistle & scream along with about 30 other folks. Then we went to Castaway Cay (Disney's own island in the Bahamas) & had a beach day.

Now I'm looking forward to summer fun things to do with Trey. He is so different this summer than last year-having full conversations with him for one!

Our waiting period is over & we are trying again for another baby & a baby brother/sister for Trey.

Sad news

I still have not taken time to update the blog. Been on bedrest a couple of times & the holidays I guess.
I had a miscarriage a few days ago(February 23, Tuesday) at 16 weeks. I don't want to make Trey's blog full of sad posts so I will just put this one post. I am devastated for the baby, me, Ruben, & especially Trey. I want him to be a big brother so much & still have hopes of that happening. He is already 3 & I wanted him to be < 4 yrs apart from a sibling. Life is teaching me a harsh lesson right now-that I can't always have what I want no matter how much I wanted it, that I should have tried sooner for a second child, that I should be more grateful everyday for what I have-a beautiful child in Trey. I thought I was grateful for him, but now I cherish him more than ever. I see him as special that my pregnancy with him was so easy & he is here when he wasn't a few years ago. I want that gift again. I desperately want my family to grow to include at least one more child.

I have friends & co-workers that have fertility problems (that I always felt so fortunate to not have) & have had miscarriages, but as usual you never expect it to happen to you. And once I passed 12 wks & then was 16 1/2 wks, I certainly didn't expect to happen.It was always a worry in the back of my mind, but not a real fear. Now I want to become pregnant again so badly, but I know now I will fear this loss again. This is the endless loop going through my mind (in addition to the fact that I am 38 years old, even though I feel 28) which once again brings me to back to Trey-he is my living, breathing, (often screaming!) proof that I can have a successful pregnancy that ends with a beautiful baby. I am clinging to that to comfort me & give me hope for the future.